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• Episode 1

Episode 1: History, Herstory and Theirstory of Pronouns

Welcome to the very first episode of English AF! This is the English learning podcast for queer English learners, and I’m your host, Justin. Before we dive in, a quick note: this introduction is longer than usual because it’s the pilot episode. Every episode after this gets straight to the point. Unlike me, apparently.

What is English AF?

This podcast is for anyone who identifies as queer and wants to learn English through a queer lens. By queer I mean LGBTQ+. I’ll be using it as an umbrella term — a catch-all to include everyone in our community. If you are lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, trans, non-binary, questioning, or anywhere else on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, then this is a safe learning space for you. Each episode covers a different queer-themed topic — from famous queer figures in history to aspects of queer culture — and links these to grammar points, vocabulary and exercises. You’ll be learning English through content you won’t have been taught in class.

About me

My name is Justin and I live in Brighton, one of the most queer-friendly cities in the UK — and, I’d argue, the world. I’m a gay cisgender male and my pronouns are he/him.

Full disclosure: I am not a qualified teacher. So what are my credentials? I was bitten by the language bug around age 9 when my cousin gave me a French phrasebook. I studied French, German and Latin at school, went on to university to study French, Italian and Linguistics, and eventually became a professional translator — my day job. I’m even learning British Sign Language at the moment. Languages are quite literally my life.

It recently struck me that language learning is hugely heteronormative. In all my years of studying languages, I’ve never once come across a textbook where Didier and Luc are looking for the nearest campsite in France together, or Cristina and Raffaella are asking for directions to the nearest lesbian bar in Rome. When I started thinking about it, it made me feel quite sad.

For many of us who grew up questioning our identities, language classes were another kick in the teeth. Identity doesn’t matter in chemistry or geography, but in language class you’re expected to talk about yourself — your likes, interests, what you want to be when you grow up, or who you want to be. I don’t remember anyone being brave enough to say they were gay or bisexual or non-binary. Of course, this was back in the 80s and early 90s. I’m sure that now in 2026 some kids in some schools have the courage and freedom to express themselves — but this may not be the case where you’re listening from. I’d love to know how things are where you are. Please leave me a comment.

The English AF family

Throughout this podcast, I’ll introduce you to the English AF chosen family — a bunch of characters who’ll pop up in examples and activities. Why does this matter? Because in a sentence like ‘Jack and Jill went up the hill’ — to quote the classic English nursery rhyme — I don’t want us to assume that characters are automatically heterosexual and cisgender, as you’d find in most textbooks. You’ll meet the full family in the learning pack that accompanies this episode.

Why pronouns?

To kick off the first series, I’ve chosen pronouns. They felt like exactly the right place to start — inclusive, intersectional, and increasingly relevant. In recent years, pronouns have become a way for people to assert personal identity, as well as a subject of fierce public debate. But before we explore what pronouns mean today, let’s look at what a pronoun actually is.

What is a pronoun?

The dictionary definition of a pronoun is a word or group of words that can be substituted for a noun or noun phrase. We use them all the time to make language more interesting and less repetitive. They’ve been around for thousands of years — the ancient Greeks even wrote about them in their grammar books. The word pronoun itself has its roots in Latin.

There are different groups of pronouns: personal and possessive pronouns, demonstrative pronouns, relative pronouns and so on. In this episode we’re focusing on personal pronouns.

Subject pronouns — I, you, he, she, it, they — are singular, while we, you, they are plural forms. Object pronouns in English are: me, him, her, its, them (singular) and us, you and them (plural).

For example: ‘This podcast is aimed at queer folk.’ Once the subject and object are established, we can say: ‘It [the podcast] is aimed at them [queer folk].’

A brief history of pronouns

The original English ‘you’ was plural

In Old English, ‘thou’ was singular — used to express familiarity, but also contempt when speaking to strangers or social inferiors. Charming times. Over time, ‘you’ took over both functions, which is why English has no standard singular/plural distinction today. Hence ‘y’all’ in American English or ‘youse’ in parts of Northern England, Scotland and Ireland.

As a native English speaker, not being able to easily distinguish between one person and several can be genuinely frustrating — especially compared to French, which neatly has ‘tu’ and ‘vous’.

Singular ‘they’ is not new. Not even slightly.

Some people — often those who fancy themselves as the grammar police — claim that using ‘they’ as a gender-neutral pronoun is a modern, ‘woke’ invention. We have receipts. The singular ‘they’ dates back to at least the 14th century. Chaucer used it. Shakespeare used it. Two of the greatest writers in the history of the English language. It’s in the King James Bible. The idea that it’s a grammatical error is an absolute falsehood, and anyone who tells you otherwise is confusing their personal discomfort with grammatical fact.

The ‘generic he’ problem

Until relatively recently, ‘he’ was the default pronoun for any unknown person in formal English. This wasn’t just convention — it was actually codified in law. The UK’s Interpretation Act of 1850 stipulated that masculine pronouns included the feminine. Charming.

‘It’ was once used for children

In Middle English, ‘it’ could refer to a child. And gender in Old English was grammatical, not biological — ‘wīf’ (meaning woman or wife) was grammatically neuter, and was therefore referred to as ‘it’. Language is strange and wonderful.

Other languages handle this very differently

Swedish officially introduced the gender-neutral pronoun ‘hen’ in 2015 — ‘hon’ is she and ‘han’ is he, for reference. Finnish, meanwhile, has never had gendered pronouns at all. ‘Hän’ covers everyone, regardless of gender. Even in informal spoken Finnish, people often use ‘se’, which literally translates as ‘it’. It’s a useful reminder that the English way is not the only way.

Neo-pronouns aren’t new either

Neo-pronouns are new or relatively new third-person pronouns used as an alternative to he, she, or they — intended to be a better reflection of someone’s gender identity. Common sets include xe/xem/xyr and ze/zir/zirs. But the impulse to create them goes back centuries. One of the oldest proposed gender-neutral pronouns is ‘thon’, which was put forward in 1858 and even made it into some dictionaries. According to a 2025 Gender Census, a significant proportion of non-binary people use neo-pronouns. Some individuals even create their own unique sets — and why not? Language belongs to all of us.

There is a political dimension to all of this

The pronoun debate is rarely really about grammar. It’s about recognition, respect and the simple human need to be seen. Pronouns are the words other people use to refer to you — getting them right is one of the most straightforward acts of respect you can offer someone.

Pronouns in the public eye

Many public figures have shared their pronouns in recent years, helping to normalise the conversation. Singer Sam Smith uses they/them. Demi Lovato uses they/she. Actor Elliot Page uses he/they. Actor Emma Corrin uses she/they. And Jonathan Van Ness — hairstylist, TV personality and national treasure — accepts all pronouns: she, they and he. Which honestly feels very on-brand for someone that joyful.

Grammar Spotlight: Personal pronouns & question tags

Right, let’s get into the grammar. Don’t worry — I promise this won’t feel like school.

Personal pronouns

You’ve just heard a lot about pronouns, so let’s make sure you’re comfortable using them. A personal pronoun replaces a noun — a person, place or thing — so we don’t have to keep repeating it.

Subject pronouns are the ones doing the action: I, you, he, she, they, it, we.

Object pronouns receive the action: me, you, him, her, them, it, us.

Let’s bring in some of the English AF family to illustrate. You’ll meet them properly in the episode materials, but here’s a quick introduction:

Andy is gay and uses he/him pronouns. He is going to Pride this weekend. Are you coming with him?

Aisha is non-binary and uses they/them pronouns. They are learning English. This podcast is perfect for them.

Remy is genderfluid and uses they/she pronouns. They gave a brilliant speech at the rally. Did you hear her?

Notice how with Remy, both they and her/she are correct — Remy uses multiple pronouns, so you can vary between them naturally. This is increasingly common and worth getting comfortable with.

Possessive pronouns show belonging: my/mine, your/yours, his, her/hers, their/theirs, its, our/ours.

That rainbow flag? It’s Rowan’s. It’s theirs.

Reflexive pronouns refer back to the subject: myself, yourself, himself, herself, themselves, itself, ourselves.

River introduced themselves at the start of the meeting.

Perfectly correct — and a great example of inclusive language in a workplace setting.

Question tags

Question tags are those little additions at the end of a statement that turn it into a question — or invite the listener to agree. They are incredibly common in spoken British English and will make you sound very natural if you use them well.

The basic rule: positive statement + negative tag. Negative statement + positive tag.

It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?

You haven’t been to Brighton, have you?

The tag uses an auxiliary verb (is, have, do, will, can, etc.) and a pronoun — and crucially, that pronoun must match the subject of the sentence.

Andy came out last year, didn’t he? ✓

Aisha is coming to the meetup, aren’t they? ✓

Jerome did an amazing job, didn’t they? ✓

A common mistake for learners is defaulting to ‘isn’t it’ for everything — which is very understandable. A lot of languages have one catch-all equivalent: n’est-ce pas in French, oder in German, vero in Italian. English, I’m afraid, is not that forgiving.

One lovely exception worth knowing: ‘I’m right, aren’t I?’ — not ‘amn’t I’, which would technically be more logical but sounds deeply strange to most English ears. Language is full of these little quirks.

Key vocabulary

Here are some key words and phrases from this episode, plus a quick guide to pronoun etiquette in real life.

Heteronormative: Assuming that heterosexuality is the default or ‘normal’ way to be. Language, textbooks and most television have historically been very heteronormative. Which is, frankly, as boring as it is exclusionary.

Umbrella term: A word that covers a range of more specific meanings. Queer is used as an umbrella term in this podcast to include the full LGBTQIA+ spectrum.

Intersectional: Recognising that people have multiple, overlapping identities — race, gender, sexuality, class and so on — that affect their experiences in different ways. A concept developed by legal scholar Kimberlé Crenshaw.

Codified: Written into official rules or law. The ‘generic he’ was codified into British law in 1850. We have come a long way. Slowly.

Neo-pronouns: Newly coined pronouns outside the traditional he/she/they — such as ze/zir or xe/xem. Not a new concept, but increasingly visible and used.

Intensifier: A word that strengthens the meaning of another word. ‘Very’, ‘extremely’ and ‘absolutely’ are all intensifiers. So is AF, if you’re that way inclined.

Coming out: The process of disclosing one’s sexual orientation or gender identity — to oneself or to others. It is rarely a single moment. Most queer people come out multiple times throughout their lives, to different people in different contexts.

Ally: Someone who is not LGBTQ+ themselves but actively supports and advocates for the community. Jamie, one of the English AF family, is a brilliant example of an ally done right.

Pronoun etiquette — A quick guide

How to ask someone their pronouns: Normalise it by sharing yours first. ‘Hi, I’m Justin, I use he/him — what about you?’ Simple, low-pressure, respectful. It takes two seconds and means a great deal.

What if you get it wrong? Correct yourself quickly, move on, and don’t make a big performance of apologising. Over-apologising puts the other person in the uncomfortable position of having to comfort you — which is the wrong way round entirely.

hat if you’re not sure of someone’s pronouns? Default to they/them until you know. It’s always respectful and increasingly understood by English speakers everywhere.

What about at work? Many workplaces now include pronouns in email signatures and meeting introductions. If yours doesn’t yet — perhaps you could be the person who starts that conversation.

Why ‘English AF’?

So — why the name English AF? I toyed with the idea of including the word ‘queer’ but I wanted something less obvious, just in case a listener wanted to be more discreet. And yes, discretion is still something we need to think about. Maybe you’re listening to this in a country where being gay or trans is unacceptable or even illegal. Maybe you’re still questioning where you sit on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum and want to listen away from prying eyes or ears. Maybe you’re an ally, keen to learn English from a different perspective. The name needed to work for all of you.

Inspiration struck when I was thinking about the word ‘folk’. Folk has become a wonderfully non-gendered way to refer to a group of people. Compare it to ‘guys’ — widespread in English, but using a male collective noun to refer to people of all genders. Not very inclusive, is it?

There’s an old English expression: ‘there’s nowt so queer as folk’, first recorded in the 17th century. Nowt is a Northern English dialect word meaning ‘no one’ or ‘nothing’. In this context, queer means odd or strange — which is, of course, part of why the word has historically been used as a slur. We’ll explore the full history of the word queer in another episode.

Now, AF is an acronym from African American English, meaning ‘as fuck’ — an intensifier used when ‘as hell’ just won’t cut it. It’s been popularised through social media, and using the acronym lets you get the message across without actually swearing. I’m using it here a little differently, of course, twisting it to mean ‘as folk’. See what I did there?

That’s what I love about English. We play around with words. We bend them, borrow them, reinvent them. It’s one of the most flexible languages there is.

Join the journey

So there you have it. English AF — a podcast for all folk. A way to make English learning less heteronormative, and to help you absorb the language through topics, exercises and contexts you can actually relate to.

Please let me know what subjects you’d like to hear about and how I can make this podcast even more inclusive and useful for you. And please subscribe to receive the free materials accompanying this episode — including a full transcript, key vocabulary definitions, and exercises to practise what you’ve learned.

Until next time — stay queer, stay curious, and keep learning. 🌈

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